- この手が力を失ってでも.. ぼくは描いてみせる.. !!!

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♥past: my archive.

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Why is it that when you need a friend the most, you can't get one? I am going through the worst shit ever in my life and I don't think I can hide it anymore. It's hurting me that you're acting in this way.. and btw, just everything is VERY obvious. Unless you're trying to make it obvious which would make you a complete asshole. Either way I've had enough of trying to make everything okay. I've had enough. If you don't want to talk to me, then don't. Tell me you don't 'cause right now we're both getting hurt with where it's at.. Well you know what, I'll do you favor. You don't have to tell me, I'll just say goodbye. You think you can get away with this? being so secretive and hiding all this shit.. well you know what, no you can't. I've had enough of your little games. Won't be seeing/talking to you for awhile so just wanna say BYE. I still can't believe this though. So I was just an obstacle in your way, huh? Well you've gotten through that obstacle, congratulations. Enjoy your prize.

It seems.. I keep trying to say goodbye. It never ends up the way I want it to , though. I am never able to say goodbye. Just about to, but then you give me.. a tiny spark of hope for everything to be okay. Then it just goes downhill again and I try to say goodbye.. It's like a song on loop. It keeps going on over and over and over again. Well, you know what? I think that I have finally decided that it IS time for goodbye and I WILL be able to do this. No more saying "There's a bit of a chance!" and no more thinking "If I try harder, maybe everything will be okay!" No more of that. I am done. : )

I've also been doing a lot of thinking.. and you guys know the quote "It takes two to tango" ? Well, I truly believe in this quote. It takes two to start something. How I think is.. One to do something and another to react in a rash way o: Meh iuno what I'm saying anymore I am actually very tired and sleepy... too much happening~~

Jeez louise. TODAY IN BAND was so frickin scary LOL My section leader wasn't there today so I was the only oboist... and .. my teacher told me to play the solos... ;__; I couldn't do it and I'm sure he got pissed cause he said right after I tried to play the solo twice.. "See, when one person misses their cue, it really messes everything up right?" or well not those exact words LMFAO but something along the lines of that ~ and I felt so bad T__T I'm gunna start using the new reed that a friend got me.. cause evidently mine is breaking =.= it takes 2 seconds to make a sound.. and even my section leader told me that I need a new reed @__@ so I'm not just blaming it on the reed !! LOL But then again he blames it on the reed too HAHA "It all depends on the reed =.=.. when you have a bad reed.. you're screwed" HAHAHAHA wise words section leader, wise words. It's true though.. without the reed you can't even make a noise ;__; and the fact that I have chunks of that reed missing means I need a new one.. the thing is.. the reed my friend got me is Medium-Hard so my tone is absolutely disgusting now cause my lips are too used to the hard reeds =/... but atleast I can make noise right away.. unlike my current reed @__@ so time to play some music .. with bad tone.. LMFAO I'll try my hardest to fix the tone though !!! I just wish my lips didn't get used to the hard reed it would've been perfect for me ~

WAHH I'm so tired I wanna sleep like now ... I'm falling asleep as I type LMFAO it's just.. I haven't been getting much sleep at all and like yeh ~~ so anyways I'm gunna go either take a nap or do homework HAHAHA

Until Next time~

P.S yo, you're cute. LMFAO VERY cute..!!! @//////@

On Wednesday, January 12, 2011 at 4:55 PM

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